First, I need to start off with Merry Christmas!
Smell Bent has launched their Holiday 2010 fragrance collection (and yes, I’m late on reviewing). Elf-Fulfilling Prophecy, in my opinion, is the bottled essence of dysfunctional family Christmases from the past, present, and even… the future. Upon first whiff, I knew if I was to ever present National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation in the glorious realm of Smell-o-vision, that I’d have to purchase gallons of Elf-Fulfilling Prophecy.
Elf-Fulfilling Prophecy, like Cousin Eddie in a white sweater with a black dickie, this scent will make you groan or chuckle, depending on how much of a sense of humor you have. Oh me, oh my, the first whiff of Elf-Fulfilling Prophecy is intense. It’s a super strange mix of store bought sugar cookies with the kaleidoscopic sprinkles, aerosol cinnamon room freshener, Gram’s ashtray filled with Virgina Slim butts (very dirty smelling), and a confusing addition of sawdust that comes out towards the dry-down. It seriously smells just like these notes. Why does the sawdust have to show up on me? I sprayed this stuff on myself, yep. And my husband walks in the room with an expression of bewilderment. He says, “What is that?” and I say, “The scent of dysfunctional family Christmas”. He thinks that I am a genius for nailing this scent right on it’s cinnamon spritzed head. He should think I’m a genius; I’m his wife. This scent has all the key players in the dysfunctional family:
Sugar Cookies represent the family member that is trying to overcompensate for the holiday, trying to make it picture perfect because you are all dysfunctional. This person is usually a mother in a manic phase who was too busy doing something unrelated, like bathing to cats, to bake cookies. A quick but maniacally jolly trip to the 24/7 grocery will make things right – shiny cookies. You don’t mind. This sure beats her depressive phase. Geez, Elf-Fulfilling is sooo store bought sugar cookie!
Cinnamon, being in an aerosol home fragrance form, reminds me of one trying to cover up odors. You can fill in the blanks. Does one need to cover up burning food, the pet odor of 5 litter boxes, or the grow lab in the basement?
There’s the ashtray accord. This reminds me of a sassy grandma with red lipstick staining the ciggarette butts, giving negative unsolicited advice in a raspy, emphysema perforated voice. It’s funny, but oh, how it cuts!
Oh, and the sawdust. It just makes everything weird. As if it wasn’t dysfunctional enough…there’s sawdust. This is strange to me. This is the whacky uncle or embarrassing drunk dad. It just adds that type of uncomfortable “groan worthy” feel to Elf-Fulfilling Prophecy.
And like a family gathering, you’ll find yourself saying, “when will this ever end!” when wearing Elf-Fulfilling Prophecy. Each note like the dysfunctional people are fine in small doses, almost likable, charming, but all together in the same home, it’s just too much! You’ll find yourself racing outside for air, counting down the minutes to your flight take off, and wondering what the hell do you do with a 100 piece puzzle and The Clapper at 27 years old?!
Smell Bent Elf-Fulfilling Prophecy conjures up bad holiday memories in everyone that I let sniff it. But, they can’t stop. It opens up conversations of why one may dislike the holidays or share “what was the strangest gift you were ever given” stories. It’s actually quite fun for that. Maybe this should be a holiday candle? It could strike up many funny conversations at your Christmas party! However, I can not guarantee that one will not go on an eggnog raging rant while wearing Elf-Fulfilling Prophecy.
Notes listed include cinnamon sugar cookies, pipe tobacco, and sawdust.
I don’t mean for my review to come off as harsh, Smell Bent does have stuff that I like. It’s just that this scent is sooo Christmasy that I can’t help but to dislike it. I’m not a Christmas person. Some people, people that like foody spice and Christmas scented candles may like this one.
The EDT spray (what I’ve reviewed) retails for $45. The perfume oil retails for $20. Elf-Fulfilling Prophecy is available at Smell Bent.
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