I am sure everyone reading this is aware of the skyrocketing gas prices taking over the tanks. Well, since I live in a place with zero mass transit, unless you want to be stabbed or go to work smelling like B.O. and a meth lab, there are very little alternatives for me. (Give the city credit, they are working on it.) My job requires that I commute alot. I mean ungodly distances. I have a car that has great gas mileage but I still need something better to get me around town. So, I’ve been thinking about possible alternatives. Walking will work for most places: the grocery store, the discount tobacco and beer mart, the white trash tanning salon, the nail salon and the midlife crisis biker bar. I would like something that could take me to further distances such as the pawn shop, dance studio or the world’s worst library. I”ve reached this conclusion:
I need this totally awesome deluxe continental lowrider bike in either red or purple with all of the totally awesome accessories. I’ve been thinking of my bike gang’s name all day. My husband says that I can’t get anywhere on this, it’ll take too long, I’ll fall over, blah, blah. But, he’s jealous of how cool I’ll be with this. There’s no need to rush when your just riding down the street for some buffalo wings and a pack of menthols. You buy a bike like this to slow down and take your time. Enjoy the 289.00 that you payed for it (plus all the other dollars to make it uniquely yours.) I’d hook up a mega sound system and play Big Booty Bass. I’d somehow incorporate ninja stars onto it. I’d get airbrushed t-shirts from the flea market at the farmer’s market with my crew’s name on them. I’d save so much money cruising around on this. I’d save money and be the envy of every 12 year old boy in the wood. I’d save so much money that I wouldn’t have to clip coupons anymore. Of course, I’d have to store the bike in my house so nobody will steal it. It’ll look great under a velvet painting. If only I could decide on a name for the bike. Oh and I’d need a basket in the front of it to put a puppy in one day.