Today I was going to post a review, but I decided that’s not what I wanted to do. The past week, I’ve encountered a few minor things with the blog that have left me feeling really frustrated. They are minor but like a repetitive sound in the background, it adds up until it eventually drives you slightly mad. What was going to be a review of a new rose perfume is instead going to be a personal post.
I started writing EauMG in 2008, years before many of these niche perfume houses were even born. It shocks me that I can still write about perfume as my attention span with most things is rather brief. I typically have tumultuous love affairs with hobbies. There’s a few factors as to why I keep writing.
- I still like doing it. The day I don’t want to do it anymore. I’m not. I don’t owe the world a blog with words about smells.
- Perfumes keep being launched. There’s always something to discuss. I also missed perfumes because of these excessive launches. There’s ALWAYS something to talk about. I can talk about the old, the new, the trends, the industry. There’s always something.
- This is the most important number on the list – It’s the people. I’ve met so many amazing people through EauMG. I have made friends online and in “real life”. It’s not really the perfume that I love. It’s discussing the perfumes. I love the discussion and hearing everyone’s unique experiences when they try a perfume. I love to hear why a certain EDP is someone’s favorite. People have shared personal stories from romantic international travels to heartfelt childhood memories just because of some molecules diluted into some alcohol. Perfume has been this icebreaker and it’s been our bond. I also love the people that perfume attracts. You guys are a snarky, sentimental group. I’m so fortunate to have a relationship with you guys. And I think if I didn’t have the blog, I wouldn’t have. That’s the best thing to ever happen to me because of EauMG.
So, yeah, I like perfume. Saying that, there are times when I get so frustrated with it all. After 7+ years of writing, these frustrated feelings are cyclical. When I get these feelings, I usually keep them to myself. Sometimes I’ll reach out to a fellow blogger for encouragement or at least some solace. But today, I’m going to share my feelings openly. Why should I not?
I think the media has put into a lot of people’s heads that bloggers make bank. There are a lot of stories about people quitting their job to “do what they love”. This narrative really speaks to millennials and this is why the media jumps on it at any chance they get. Clicks = money for them! People want to read about Instagram “models” making more than they did as a bartender or about a woman with a DIY blog that makes more than her husband’s teaching job. People hate working for “the man”. They want to hear about people breaking free. But, the reality is that most bloggers are just free content providers. Bloggers are people that work a day job, go to school, have a family and have other hobbies. They squeeze their blog in because they want to. Many know they are not going to make money from this (other than like the $5 a month from Google ads or 5% affiliate links that they later go on and pay taxes on). Bloggers do what they love but that doesn’t mean they are actually a success of the modern mantra “Do what you love”. They’re doing what they love on top of every day life.
The above paragraph is a rant that could be made into a separate post. But, the point I’m trying to make is that I think a lot of people think bloggers make money and that their blog is all they do all day. And it’s not true for the most part. Yes, there are people that do make enough to pay their personal bills. I’m happy for them. They produce excellent content and work hard. They deserve it. But, even then blogging isn’t their life. There’s life outside of blogging. And I blog about fragrance. This is such a small niche. I’m never going to bring in enough traffic to make money by selling ads or having sponsorships. It’s just the nature of my niche and I’m fine with that. But, there are some things I’m not fine with. And that’s why I’m writing this today instead of posting a review.
This past week I’ve been dealing with life. I’ve been working hard at work (what pays my bills, perfume samples don’t) and feeling incredibly spread too thin. I’ve had to be a support system for a spouse who’s going through a lot. Our heating broke. There was a fraud alert on our bank account that has been a huge headache. Frink has some weird growth that popped up around his eye. This is life and I’m not kvetching about life (lie, I am). I’m painting a picture of life’s annoyances. We all have them. They never stop. Today, I woke up on the one year anniversary of my grandmother’s death. It was going to be a difficult day. I pour my coffee, I try to approve some blog comments before committing to my other obligations. And BEHOLD! There’s a tidy little collection of troll comments. These aren’t comments that disagree me. These are Jumbo Grade A Troll Comments. Yes, I delete them but it still hurts, especially when you’re feeling down and out. Comments about how you aren’t smart enough or pretty enough to show your face to the world. These comments are like the terrible insecurities that creep into your anxious mind at the worst possible times (if you suffer from anxiety, you know it’s all the time that you’re suppressing these personal doubts). These are the comments that I’ve tried to rid myself from since I can remember. But, here they are all typed out by some delightful stranger who expects you to be perfect because it’s the internet. And internet people can’t be real, right? Internet people are perfect and exist just for our entertainment. They must not have visible pores or ever use incorrect grammar. They’re perfect. They exist in the magical series of tubes for our enjoyment. It’s their job. And it’s my job to call them out when they display any signs of being a human. Right?
And then it hit me that all week I’ve been deleting ruthless troll comments, dealing with
difficult brands and people’s unrealistic expectations. And I get sick of it. Life is hard as is. We have to manage and balance all of our different relationships. We have to fend for ourselves and take care of ourselves. The world is a brutal place, even when it is running smoothly and in “our favor”. And here I am, adding another thing to my life. For the most part, it makes me happy but sometimes there are days/weeks like this that have me doubting not only the blog, but myself. It’s extremely frustrating. And usually when things frustrate me, I find a way to fix them. And if I can’t, I let it go. I rid it from my life. Life is too short for unnecessary annoyances.
Saying that, I probably won’t shutter EauMG over a bad week. Instead it made me think about everyone that has been supportive. I want to take the time to thank all the readers of EauMG. You didn’t have to read this. You don’t have to put up with my glaring spelling mistakes, my Southern grammar or my occasional rants. I’m not some magical expert. I’m a person with opinions that posts them. I get it wrong all the time. Yet, you read it. Thank you so much.
I want to thank everyone that has ever left a non-troll comment! 99% of the time comments make me so happy. I didn’t realize how happy they made me until I get bitter, mean ones. I won’t take the good ones for granted again. Thank you!
I want to thank all of the brands and publicists that have reached out to EauMG. Thank you for sharing your products with me. I know it can be scary to “throw yourself out there” and hope you receive good feedback. Thank you for trusting me and not getting defensive with me when I use my own voice.
I want to let other bloggers know that you aren’t a failure if you work a day job and still blog. Keep doing it if you love it and know that people appreciate your work even if you don’t hear it too often. We’re not all going to be “famous” from blogging. That’s a delusional expectation in my opinion. Just keep being you. I know that sounds like a corny after school special, but I mean it. Be you. You’re not going to make everyone happy so just make yourself happy.
I feel a little better now. Blogging isn’t my job but it’s a hard job that I volunteer for. I didn’t do this post for people to feel sorry for me. We all have something going on. And we all know that InternetWorld is a wild place. So, that’s why I’d like to ask of you, if there is a blogger or vlogger that you appreciate, let them know. You have no idea what people are dealing with behind the scenes. You have no idea how many unproductive criticism (AKA TROLLING) they’ve dealt with today. And believe it or not, but a “thank you” can make all that hard work worth it.
And again, thank you!
*Pug from Shutterstock.