July – Sickness, seances and seaweed. July sucked so hard that my neighbor thought I was dead and there was a wellness check. This is all you need to know about July.
August 1st – Downtown – It’s a dreary reminder of late fall: cool winds, rustling leaves and micro-mist coating 3/4 sleeves. It even smells like autumn. Persian was planned. I go home and chop up mint and parsley but I’d rather be smelling the aroma of a spiced pumpkin pie.
August 2nd – Downtown – Low gray skies contrast full, green trees. Cool winds and chilly hands. Slow-simmering gumbo warms our little space. Earthy filé. One has to use their nose when making a roux. Pro tip.
August 3rd – Georgetown – The taste and smell of strong coffee awake my senses as I avoid stepping in stagnant oily puddles, protective moat around decrepit breweries. Dusty vinyl and freshly printed zines give me a creative rise. Exalting aroma of passionflowers compliment the hum of overjoyed bumblebees.
August 4th – Downtown – A day reserved for errands and huffing bleach. I hate bleach. I can’t believe you can just go out and buy this toxic shit.
August 5th – Downtown – Covered in not one but two huge tuberose perfumes, I somehow managed to trip and hit my noggin on a cabinet door leaving a bump the size of a golf ball. Ten minutes on the floor cursing in not one but a few languages, some possibly made up then and there, I’m pissed to realize that my dogs are still sleeping on their little, buxom paisley pillows. I thought these things were supposed to pull me out of burning buildings and dial 911. Today I hate everything.
August 6th – Pike Place Market – I need tonka beans for sniffing. Sweet, sweet tonka beans. And I also need the shaman gossip that tailgates the purchase of tonka beans for sniffing.
August 7th – Beacon Hill – Nine years ago I married a boy and everyone said that I’d regret it and that it’d never last. I hope they’re doing well. Word of advice, if someone says they’re getting married, all you say is “congrats” and that’s that. We end up at taco bus, the smell of sizzling sirloin and onions.
August 8th – International District – Wandering around swatting gnats, I go on a search for pottery and end up buying little Japanese bowls with pug faces painted on them. On the way home, somebody pissed on the street and it sure smells like it.
August 9th – Downtown – My patience with tourists went from very little to none. How can an adult not know how to use a sidewalk? And to top off the frustration, it smells like sewers. Disgusting sewers.
August 10th – Queen Anne – It’s really difficult to try to convince people that you’re a pretentious restaurant when you’re playing the most popular jams from my school days. Bubbly and deviled eggs, I’ll try to forgive them. I’ll try with much effort.
August 11th – Seward Park – Overripe blackberries simmer in the sun discharging a musky fruity aroma. Scratches on my hands and feet. Berries in my belly.
August 12th – Lake Forest Park – A nice reading with fellow perfume lovers. Vintage Rochas Femme and Coty Emeraude on my fingertips. Violet-scented ink and bubbles.
August 13th – Downtown -Simmering down a blackberry compote – sweet, syrupy summer berries. This makes me happy but I’m also in mourning for summer.
August 14th – Downtown – Figs, goat cheese and honey. Breathe it in. Idle days will conclude soon.
August 15th – Downtown – Sorrowful thoughts of withering summer. No guests to entertain. No grills to fire up. Strange winds bring in the aromas of the East’s harvest.
August 16th – Downtown – Satin sheets and the pear-like aroma of a prosecco, a good book and an open window bringing in an agreeable summer breeze. This is how I felt like spending my Friday night.
August 17th – South Seattle – After spending the morning dreaming about Deco-inspired sofas, I find myself at a furniture store not happy with their inferior selection. New sofa smell. Nostalgic smell for a person from a family of furniture manufacturers.
August 18th – Belltown – I spent the morning sniffing and analyzing all of the lavenders. Lavenders with camphor. Lavenders with pear nuances. Lavenders with baked bread nuances. All of the lavenders. Sunshine and brunch at a French cafe. Pernaud. Gorgeous Sunday.
August 19th – Downtown – I’ve went a long time without chocolate, as it hits my tongue I savor the flavor and aroma. I’ve never been more appreciative of a regular ‘ole Hershey’s bar in my life.
August 20th – Pike Place Market – Garlic-y falafel gyros and a salt water breeze clear my mind of deadlines and clutter.
August 21st – Downtown – Wearing too much Caron Narcisse Noir, too much eyeliner, too much of everything. I take a quick stroll in leopard print pony hair smoking loafers and quickly regret not breaking them in first.
August 22nd – Downtown – It smells like carp fish. Someone explain that.
August 23rd – Pretty Sure It Was the Black Lodge – My aura has been read twice this week without my consent (but, it’s cool, my aura is always the most beautiful of auras). Santa drove his sleigh too slowly through the pastures and tulip fields lined with resplendent casinos and I had to wait for the region’s latest ferry that travels from the netherworld. My new best friend with the water growler gazes upon a Tom Cruise slideshow on his laptop. We aren’t best friends anymore. Heavy metal plays in a ferry terminal while German gals clang together industrial size bowls behind a suspicious counter. Saltwater smells soothe me in the frigid air. Halfway completed puzzles as I enter the Twilight Zone…
August 24th – Orcas Island – Time moves slowly barely bridging the gap of coffee time to wine time. Time just moves slowly on an island solely inhabited by holiday tourists and aggressive yellow jackets. Isolation has a smell. So does jasmine confit. I saw a snake on rotting apples. Symbolism.
August 25th – Orcas island – Smoky fireplace smoke imbues my dirty hair. Salt air, the sea…filled with orcas. Escape from Yellow Jacket Island involves me sitting on a ferry for an hour with the disturbing aroma of decomposing dead mammal.
August 26th – Pioneer Square – Oh, the opulence of eccentrics and strangers! Of city smells, city hustle, city life! Citified. The only existence for me.
August 27th – Downtown – I love the smell of hot, dusty electronics. And new electronics warming up. Primo.
August 28th – Capitol Hill – Fancy cocktails with flavors similar to aldehydic perfume, marrow and oysters fight off the shakes. Awesome company with brains and good noses. Hipster bar with $2 bills collides with a magical goth night at a gay dive bar.
August 29th – Central District – Last calls are rough on dames my age. “One Flew Over the Cukoo’s Nest” bus ride, caused me to plan an escape on Congi Corner. A long walk down hill, I carry my new wares in a large cardboard box. The smells of decaying summer…
August 30th – Downtown – “Keep a regular schedule”, he said. But, my temporary bachelor life won’t let me. Red wine for dinner. Generous amounts of vintage Dior Poison does not cause asthma like he says. I stay up all night reading about Hemingway ‘zines and Parisian woman-owned bookstores of Paris in the ’20’s.
August 31st – Capitol Hill – A gorgeous sunny day, I walk, enjoying the sights and sounds. Fig ice cream with a tart blackberry compote. A good time sniffing fancy salts from around the globe and analyzing the floral aromas of bar soaps wrapped in pretty paper. Good company and deviled eggs. Good day.